Nonsmoker part 3...can't figure out why I keep getting cut off, am I being long winded?i

What I was trying to say is that my hand to mouth obsession was being comforted by gum, suckers, and sunflower seeds. But even that is not enough at times.  So I have been busying myself with chores and exercise, spending lots of time outside anyway, breathing fresh air, doing yard work, tending to plants, talking to plants, listening to plants.  I've been practicing a few meditations and shaman techniques to sort of calm and reprogram my subconscious.  Such as asking my animal ally, the bear, to give me strength and help me heal.  I've asked for the support of the four winds, since they know so much about change. And i sometimes beg the cedar tree to be strong for me.  I imagine when I shower that I am washing my addiction down the drain.  I make up positive affirmations to repeat in my head when I'm driving or just really feeling like giving up, such as: I am a healthy, happy, hippy and that's what I want to be.  Or: I'm not gonna let some stupid cigarette get the best of me, I'm stronger than that you silly cigarette!

But really what it all boils down to is what everyone always said, "When you really want to quit, you'll quit."  And I do!  I really want to quit!!  Sure, cigarettes served their purpose for me for a time.  It was a romantic fascination and I was a rebel without a clue.  I loved smoking!  I loved everything about smoking!  Cigarettes were like my best friend in so many ways.  They were an excuse to get a break at work.  They were a reason to take a moment to reflect.  they were a comfort when I felt alone or stressed or helpless.  They were a useful tool in suppressing tears.  Since I've quit, I've cried a lot!  But half of my tears were tears of joy for possibilities of my future feeling suddenly possible!

I've tried to quit many times and I have been mentally preparing myself for this for the last three years, since the last time I tried to quit.  I have been trying to hypnotize myself and reprogram my subconscious.  Plus I have had a lot of friends successfully quit smoking in the last couple years.  The price has been a huge motivator for many, and for those who are not strong enough to quit yet, let me tell you, it's been breaking us!  Anyone who is currently addicted to smoking is probably below the poverty line because of the price of this extremely addictive habit, I know I am well below it.

One of my regular customers at the golf course successfully quit smoking last summer.  He swears by the patch.  He was smoking over a pack a day of Marlboro Reds for 25 years.  There is no way he could have quit without the help of a patch, I know the feeling, I've tried.  And on top of that, He wasn't even irritable, he never stopped smiling.  And every time I saw him, he seemed even happier than the time before.  Thanks Ricky!  After a success story like that, I felt inspired to start to prepare for my own hard times of nicotine withdrawals, and a year later, I know I'm not out yet, but I also know that I am determined to not let cigarettes control my life anymore.  I am on the path to recovery, now instead of being a smoking rebel, I will rebel against control from anyone or any substance!!!  I am in control now.

I hope this story inspires other smokers to be strong and stick it to the man the best way you can.  Quit spending your money on cigarettes! Give Phillip Morris the finger...and OBAMA!!